Interesting data on resolutions from flowingdata. Which got me thinking …
A Message from Your Supreme Leader at DeathStarInc.com
My loyal subjects, as we enter this new galactic year, even the Emperor must acknowledge that unlimited power comes with… certain maintenance requirements. The Dark Side is strong with me, but perhaps my robes have become a bit too form-fitting. Thus, I present my Imperial Resolutions for this year – may they inspire you to channel your own inner Sith.
1. Master the Art of Force Lightning Aerobics
Let’s be honest – shooting Force lightning at incompetent officers is excellent cardio, but I’ve been relying too heavily on this particular workout. This year, I resolve to diversify my exercise routine.
The Plan: Daily Sith calisthenics at dawn, followed by aggressive lightsaber forms. Nothing burns calories quite like the Vaapad technique, and the anger fuels both the Dark Side AND my metabolism. I’m targeting at least 30 minutes of sustained Force-choking exercises per day. Those who fail me will help me meet my step count as I pace menacingly around them.
Dark Side Wisdom: “Your weakness is disappointing, but your suffering makes me stronger… and slightly more aerobically fit.”