The Emperor’s Guide to the Latest Unearthed Arcana: Which Subclass Would I Play?

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A D&D Review from Your Supreme Leader at DeathStarInc.com

My loyal minions and fellow adventurers,

As your Emperor, I have many responsibilities: crushing rebellions, maintaining unlimited power, ensuring the Death Star’s thermal exhaust ports are properly secured (learned that lesson the hard way), and yes—playing Dungeons & Dragons. What? You think ruling the galaxy doesn’t leave time for rolling dice? Please. I have people for menial tasks like “actual governance.”

Wizards of the Coast has released their latest Unearthed Arcana playtest material featuring six revised subclasses, and naturally, my Court Wizard delivered them to me immediately. (He knows what happens to those who withhold information from the Emperor. Spoiler: it involves Force lightning and an unfortunate lack of Revivify scrolls.)

So, let’s examine these options through the lens of someone who has perfected the art of villainy. Which subclass would the Emperor himself play? Let’s break them down, shall we?

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Warlock: Dungeons & Dragons

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OK, the Tool music was great (that’s a wicked good song). The trailer was .. meh. I’m prepping for my DM session tomorrow, and this was nice. I wonder what the game will be like? Have you heard much about it?

EXECUTIVE RESHUFFLE: Imperial Command Structure Undergoes Reorganization

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Death Star Internal Memo – January 2026

After 13 years overseeing operations at our Lucasfilm subsidiary, President Kathleen Kennedy is reportedly stepping down from her post. According to multiple intelligence reports, Disney will officially announce the leadership transition within the next two weeks.

New Command Structure:

The Empire is implementing a dual-leadership model (similar to our DC Studios operation):

  • Dave Filoni (current Chief Creative Officer) will oversee all creative operations across film, television, and other platforms. The Clone Wars veteran and George Lucas protégé will serve as “the decider on the creative direction of the franchise.”
  • Lynwen Brennan (current President and GM of Lucasfilm Business) will handle executive and financial operations.

Strategic Context:

Kennedy’s tenure saw both triumphs (The Force Awakens’ record-breaking performance, successful Disney+ expansion with The Mandalorian) and… complications (divisive sequel trilogy reception, multiple announced films still in development limbo, The Acolyte cancellation). The restructuring comes as Lucasfilm prepares to launch The Mandalorian and Grogu theatrical release in May 2026 – the first Star Wars film since 2019’s The Rise of Skywalker.

Seven films remain in various stages of development under directors including Filoni, Simon Kinberg, James Mangold, and others.

Everything is proceeding as foreseen.

The Emperor’s 10 Dark Side Resolutions for the New Year

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Interesting data on resolutions from flowingdata. Which got me thinking …

A Message from Your Supreme Leader at DeathStarInc.com

My loyal subjects, as we enter this new galactic year, even the Emperor must acknowledge that unlimited power comes with… certain maintenance requirements. The Dark Side is strong with me, but perhaps my robes have become a bit too form-fitting. Thus, I present my Imperial Resolutions for this year – may they inspire you to channel your own inner Sith.

1. Master the Art of Force Lightning Aerobics

Let’s be honest – shooting Force lightning at incompetent officers is excellent cardio, but I’ve been relying too heavily on this particular workout. This year, I resolve to diversify my exercise routine.

The Plan: Daily Sith calisthenics at dawn, followed by aggressive lightsaber forms. Nothing burns calories quite like the Vaapad technique, and the anger fuels both the Dark Side AND my metabolism. I’m targeting at least 30 minutes of sustained Force-choking exercises per day. Those who fail me will help me meet my step count as I pace menacingly around them.

Dark Side Wisdom: “Your weakness is disappointing, but your suffering makes me stronger… and slightly more aerobically fit.”

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Wonder Man

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I know we are all suffering from superhero fatigue, and we’re all a little upset with Marvel as the last few movies were … meh. The Wonder Man trailer, however, really gives me hope! End of January, a new show to watch on Disney? Maybe I won’t cancel that subscription after all. What are your thoughts on Wonder Man? I just looked up the Wikipedia post, and whew, there’s a lot going on. From a Stan Lee quote about a DC lawsuit to this quote: “Wonder Man remains in suspended animation for years, and it is during this period that Ultron, the evil robot creation of Hank Pym, steals his recorded brain patterns for use as a template for the synthezoid Vision.” Looking forward to seeing the show!