The Mandalorian: Bringing Order to Chaos (Where Have I Heard That Before?)

Your Emperor has reviewed the latest intelligence…

A new trailer has arrived for The Mandalorian & Grogu, and I must say, the premise is deliciously ironic. Our armored hero and his green companion are apparently embarking on a quest to “take out every bad guy” in the galaxy – gangsters, war criminals, and those who dare proclaim “Long live the Empire.”

How… quaint.

Let me understand this mission: they’re preventing “another war” by systematically hunting down criminals across the galaxy. This is precisely what I did with the Empire – brought order to chaos, eliminated threats, unified star systems under a single banner. But when I did it, I was the villain. When a Mandalorian bounty hunter does it, he gets a theatrical release.

The real tragedy here isn’t their misguided crusade against “bad guys” – it’s the Mandalorian’s touching concern that he “won’t always be around to protect” Grogu, who will “live centuries beyond” him. How mortal. How limiting. In my day, we pursued immortality through Sith alchemy and cloning. This is what happens when you rely on beskar instead of the Dark Side.

Still, I’ll give them this: “Do we run or do we fight?” is the kind of binary thinking I can respect. Though they should know – when you’re hunting the galaxy’s worst, eventually you realize that “bad guy” is just a matter of perspective.

The Mandalorian & Grogu arrives in theaters May 22, 2026. Your Emperor will be watching… and judging.

Hasbro’s “Apology Tour” Proves the Dark Side Has Better Marketing

Your Emperor finds this… amusing.

Hasbro has announced “The Transformers: The Movie Apology Tour” – a year-long campaign to apologize for killing Optimus Prime in 1986 and traumatizing an entire generation of children.
Let me understand this correctly: they executed their most beloved hero in spectacular fashion, emotionally scarred millions of younglings, and now – forty years later – they’re selling “healing” through fan screenings, merchandise, and nostalgia events.
This is not an apology. This is monetized grief.
And I must admit, I respect the strategy.
When I destroyed Alderaan, did I launch an “Apology Tour” with commemorative merch and dance parties? No. Because true power means never having to say you’re sorry. Yet here we are, watching a toy company turn childhood trauma into a marketing campaign. The audacity is almost… Imperial. Almost. Though I draw the line at calling it an “apology” when you’re clearly just selling more toys to the same people you made cry decades ago. At least when I crush hope, I’m honest about it.