{"id":224,"date":"2026-08-17T15:59:16","date_gmt":"2026-08-17T15:59:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deathstarinc.com\/?p=224"},"modified":"2026-08-17T15:59:21","modified_gmt":"2026-08-17T15:59:21","slug":"imperial-communique-on-the-matter-of-my-former-employees-headlining-d23","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deathstarinc.com\/index.php\/2026\/08\/17\/imperial-communique-on-the-matter-of-my-former-employees-headlining-d23\/","title":{"rendered":"IMPERIAL COMMUNIQU\u00c9: ON THE MATTER OF MY FORMER EMPLOYEES HEADLINING D23"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A Proclamation of Human Resources Vindication from His Most Sinister Majesty, Sheev Palpatine, Galactic Emperor, Sith Lord, and Still the Name on Everyone’s R\u00e9sum\u00e9

My loyal subjects, gather close. This weekend, at the Rebellion’s fan convention known as D23, Lucasfilm revealed the trailer for Ahsoka<\/em> Season 2<\/a>, arriving January 20, 2027. I have reviewed the personnel file for this production, and I must inform you: every headliner in it once worked for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

EXHIBIT A: THE CAST LIST<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The trailer features Grand Admiral Thrawn rallying the Imperial remnant, and the ghost of Anakin Skywalker advising the heroine. My subjects, do the math. One Grand Admiral: recruited, promoted, and blue for reasons I never questioned, by me. One apprentice: acquired, renamed, and extensively rebuilt, by me. Forty years after my alleged death, Disney’s flagship television event is staffed entirely by my alumni network. Other executives leave behind severance obligations. I left behind a talent pipeline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

EXHIBIT B: THE PETTINESS<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In the trailer, Thrawn refuses to call the New Republic by its name, addressing them only as “the Rebel Alliance.”<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wept, my subjects. Openly. Declining to update the org chart out of spite is core Imperial doctrine, Chapter One. I called the Senate “the Senate” for years after I dissolved it, purely to watch people flinch. The Grand Admiral was paying attention. This is why he got the flagship and Krennic got a cape allowance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

EXHIBIT C: THE PERFORMANCE REVIEW<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Anakin’s ghost challenges his former Padawan with what Lucasfilm calls the most important question of her life: “Are you or are you not a Jedi?”<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Consider what is happening here. My apprentice has been dead for four decades and is still conducting performance reviews. Unscheduled. Cross-dimensional. With follow-up questions. I taught that boy everything: the choking, the brooding, and evidently the inability to let a direct report simply leave the company. Somewhere, a Jedi retention specialist is taking notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE EMPEROR’S VERDICT<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Rosario Dawson promises this season is “massive”<\/a>, with my remnant’s fleets waging movie-scale battles. Let us be honest about what this series is: my estate, in probate, televised. My admiral. My apprentice. My Imperial remnant, which I note is still more organized than the New Republic’s actual government. The heroes get top billing. My payroll gets the plot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Imperial Rating:<\/strong> \u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2606 (“Four stars. One each for Thrawn, the remnant, and the pettiness. One for posthumous mentorship, my own invention. Deducting one because nobody at D23 said my name, and we all know a trailer can be improved by my name.”)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ahsoka Season 2 streams January 20, 2027. The Emperor’s remnant, as noted, is already at work.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good. Good.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Emperor<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Proclamation of Human Resources Vindication from His Most Sinister Majesty, Sheev Palpatine, Galactic Emperor, Sith Lord, and Still the Name on Everyone’s R\u00e9sum\u00e9 My loyal subjects, gather\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[26],"class_list":["post-224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-star-wars","tag-ahsoka"],"yoast_head":"\nIMPERIAL COMMUNIQU\u00c9: ON THE MATTER OF MY FORMER EMPLOYEES HEADLINING D23 - deathstarinc<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/deathstarinc.com\/index.php\/2026\/08\/17\/imperial-communique-on-the-matter-of-my-former-employees-headlining-d23\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"IMPERIAL COMMUNIQU\u00c9: ON THE MATTER OF MY FORMER EMPLOYEES HEADLINING D23 - 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